Tisha B’Av and Purifying the Heart - Ann Arbor Reconstructionist Congregation

Last Sunday evening we entered Rosh Chodesh Av and the Nine Days leading to Tisha B’Av, the holy day that marks the lowest point in the Jewish calendar. During this 9-day period, we turn our focus to the pain and suffering in this world and in our personal lives in order to acknowledge the darkness and allow ourselves space to grieve. It is not a time to reflect on how to fix things but rather to sit in the reality of darkness and despair with compassionate curiosity.

According to our tradition, on Tisha B’Av, which begins this Monday evening, we fast, chant from the Book of Lamentations and grieve over the destruction of the first and second temples and many other tragedies in Jewish history, and reflect on themes of exile and brokenness. The rabbis teach us that this is a time to open the gate of tears, to cry for the suffering in the world, to really feel it. This does not mean that we don’t feel brokenness the rest of the year, but during the first nine days of Av, and particularly on Tisha B’Av, we are called to bear witness to that brokenness and in so doing we get to know ourselves and the world better.

The kabbalah offers us special wisdom to help us through this intense emotional journey. During the month of Av, kabbalists ask us to pay attention to the power of listening. They urge us to listen spiritually, with both our hearts and our minds, in an integrated way. We listen for what makes us feel connected and disconnected, for what distracts us and what keeps us focused and aligned with what is good and holy. We are called to listen for when the heart is open and when the heart is closed. This is the work of purifying the heart.

לֵב טָהוֹר בְּרָא־לִי אֱלֹהִים וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי׃

Lev tahor b’ra li Elohim v’ruach nachon chadesh b’kirbi

Fashion a pure heart for me, O God; create in me a steadfast spirit.

(Psalm 51:12)

Rabbi Jeff Roth says that it is our job to purify the heart. Part of that task is recognizing that we have the capacity, the power, to consciously fill ourselves with love. One way to do that is through deep listening with no agenda other than committing to compassionate presence without judgement. Through deep listening we are asked to acknowledge the truth of what is unfolding. There is no erasure, no spiritual or emotional bypassing, just presence to what is — to the horror of October 7^th and the aftermath of a devastating year of war, to what is troubling us in the United States and in other places around the globe, to the climate crisis, to the challenges in our own communities and in our own lives.

The Nine Days of Av allow us space to cry, to moan, to sigh, to grieve without apology — all acts of purifying the heart. We do this before we take the next step on our journey through the Jewish calendar and ready ourselves for teshuvah during Elul and the High Holy Days. The nurturing aspect of deep listening is healing to the heart; it creates softening of tension and allows more room for compassionate awareness. Our cups become full and have greater potential to even spill over with love to the point that it becomes natural for us to share our blessings with others.

We learn this from Leviticus 7:15, which says that the “thanksgiving sacrifice of well-being shall be eaten on the day that it is offered; that none of it shall be set aside until the morning.” In his book Judaism is About Love, Rabbi Shai Held sees in this verse that “Torah implicitly requires a person who brings a thanksgiving offering to invite others to dine with them.” In other words, what we are grateful for is to be shared. Sharing is another pathway to purifying our hearts.

May we be gentle with ourselves as we deeply listen and express our love through compassionate presence. May our cups runneth over with love.

B’ahavah,

Rav Gavrielle

Poem on Deep Listening:

Start Close In (David Whyte):