From member Emily Eisbruch and Rabbi Michal:
Rabbi Michal, Jon Sweeney and their daughter Sima recently traveled to Duluth, MN to participate in a Friday night presentation and a Sunday morning discussion on Intermarriage. They were sponsored by Temple Israel in Duluth, which is affiliated with both the Union for Reform Judaism and Jewish Reconstructionist Communities. We thought it would be great to learn about their experience in Duluth. They have kindly agreed to participate in a bit of Q&A for this blog.
Q: We know that you have spoken in the past on intermarriage and it was the theme of your 2013 book “Crazy Mixed Up Love.” How did the trip to Duluth come about?
A: Rabbi David Steinberg is a Reconstructionist colleague of mine and a friend of ours with an interest in the topic. The synagogue has an annual interfaith themed funded lecture program, which was officially our host.
Q: What were you expecting and what did you find in Duluth? Any surprises concerning the city or the congregation?
A: I think we expected a larger, more formal setting because of the funded lecture program. What we found was a warm, intimate group, mostly from the synagogue, plus a few members of an interfaith program from a local college, the director of which is a synagogue member.
Q: How many people attended your events at Temple Israel in Duluth and what was the “vibe” like?
A: We did a book talk after services on Friday evening, with a reading and Q&A. It was a very sweet and engaged group of about 30. An informal lunch program on Sunday afternoon, with around 35 people, focused on religious identity and multi-faith families and communities. That was a new and very rich topic and discussion. It was great to go deep and may have been the best group we ever had a chance to talk to. I think having multiple events and spending Shabbat with the congregation (I shared in the service leadership with Rabbi David Steinberg) helped create that.
Q: How does the Duluth (population 85,000) Jewish community compare to Ann Arbor’s?
A: The Jewish community there is much smaller than here. The synagogue has around 150 families, is Reform/Recon dual affiliated and is the only Shul except for an orthodox group that meets irregularly.
Q: What was the trip like for 3 year old Sima? Did she get to have some fun?
A: Sima had a lovely time. She spent a lot of the time with a great 8 year old named Zippi and went to the shabbat school preschool room where she learned about Tzedakah and made a Tzedakah box.
Q: What were some of the most interesting questions you received or stories you heard?
A: A couple who is very involved in the synagogue includes a man who has a Jewish mother and black father and his Chinese wife. He was convinced that our situation is no big deal and we should just stop defending ourselves! More typically the fact that I am a rabbi and Jon a professional in the Christian world surprises people.
Q: Did this trip provide you any new insights on the topic of intermarriage?
A: Our presentation did more to highlight my own evolution around interfaith issues, especially around trying to support multi-faith families, which has shifted a bit since we wrote the book. The community itself was typical in some ways, with many interfaith families, few of whom feel that intermarriage is a new or looming problem, and a couple of families with multiple generations of intermarriage in their family tree. The concern about interfaith marriage was generational, which is also typical.
Q: You mentioned that your view on supporting multi-faith families has shifted a bit since we wrote the book. How so?
A: I had written in the book that I tend to do weddings for couples planning on having a Jewish home. Since arriving in Ann Arbor, I have done a Jewish wedding for a couple also having a Greek Orthodox ceremony and planning a dual-faith household, and a baby naming for a boy who was also baptized. I have no idea what will happen with these families or children but could not come up with a good reason to turn them away from giving honor to our tradition and celebrating it with their families and communities.
Q: Do you have other lectures/presentations on intermarriage planned?
A: We don’t currently, but hope to in the coming year, especially with the issue of rabbinical students with non Jewish partners on the table in the Reconstructionist movement.
